Kipwil was starting to wobble a bit in her resolve. She knew her time in 12WBT was growing short, she had only 2 more weeks and her inner thoughts were inclined to panic about it all. She noticed she was starting to give in to Seduction more and lore and while it hadn’t alerted Cyril De Scales as yet, she knew that it wouldn’t be long before he would be asking questions about the increasing numbers. I have to get a hold of myself! Why am I back to believing I’m not worth it? Kipwil would think after each slip up.
A letter from Queen Mish arrived one day without fanfare. It settled itself gently down beside Kipwil as she slept and waited patiently for Kipwil to stir. When at last Kipwil opened her eyes, she saw Sergeant JFDI and the letter watching her.
“ Ummm…yes, can I help you both?” Kipwil asked somewhat bemusedly and with a hint of grumpiness.
“ IT’S CHALLENGE TIME KIPWIL. UP AND AT THEM AND MEET US BESIDE STOPCLOCK AT 0800HOURS.” whispered Sergeant JFDI…well, attempted to whisper, it was more a hoarse sound equal to the motor of a vacuum cleaner.
The letter remained behind for Kipwil to read…it opened itself fussily and neatly and announced:
“Queen Mish has set you a challenge. Two times this week, you are to conduct a series of time trials. The distance is 1km and you are to do this 6 times. There is a two minute rest period between each run. Note your times and report back with the fastest time you achieve.” The crinkly voice cleared its throat, “Good luck.”
Kipwil’s panicky thoughts went wild in her head at this. 6 times?? 1km?? That makes 6 KM??I CAN’T DO IT!!!!! And then do it again???
Kipwil dressed slowly and ate slower. Nanny Nutrition cast worried looks her way and even the recipes were quieter in their chatter. Nanny had noticed the goblin ridden food creeping into her cupboards and she was concerned Kipwil was going to fail in the last few weeks. She went over to Kipwil and hugged her gently.
“ I believe in you….you are fuelled with good food and your muscles are strong. I don’t know what is worrying you but the team is all here for you. That includes Hubba Hubba and the children, they are so very, very proud of you.” She said to Kipwil.
Kipwil hugged her briefly back and left to find Sergeant JFDI and Stopclock.
She arrived at the training ground as clouds began to build behind the field. Great, rain, now I DEFINITELY won’t be able to do it Kipwil thought dejectedly. She looked up at Sergeant JFDI’s voice.
“ KIPWIL, ANNOUNCE YOUR READINESS TO STOPCLOCK AND THE TIME TRIALS WILL BEGIN” he ordered in his best parade ground voice.
Kipwil took up position at the start and sighed.
“ Ready” she mumbled.
“Ready….Set….Go” Stopclock voiced in a monotone and Kipwil was off.
She pumped her arms and legs and the first few hundred metres were easier than she thought. She began to enjoy the running and even managed a sprint for the last 100 metres at the end. She turned to look at Stopclock as she past the finish line.
“4.38mins” his voice announced.
Sergeant JFDI added “ WELL DONE KIPWIL!! TWO MINUTE REST AND WE GO AGAIN”
Kipwil ran and ran. Each time got a little harder and harder, the rest breaks seemd shorter and shorter. She wanted to give up and just not do it, after all it wasn’t like it was COMPULSORY or anything but she knew she would be disappointed in herself. She had to do this because is she didn’t she might as well give up everything else now.
The numbers kept coming… 4.55mins, 4.58mins, 4.57mins, 4.51mins…and now for the last one.
Kipwil was almost spent. She puffed and panted. Sergeant JFDI yelled encouragingly and kept her going. She felt tired and there was still one more run. She took her place and took off at Stopclock’s count. She struggled, her chest hurt, her arms hurt, she had tears in her eyes. It began to rain and Kipwil felt lower than she had felt for the last twelve weeks. She tried a little burst of speed to cross the line but nearly fell over.
“ 5.09mins” Stopclock intoned.
Sergeant JFDI and Kipwil walked slowly home.
“ You did well Kipwil. We will do this once more in two days” Sergeant JFDI said, patting Kipwil on her sore and aching shoulders.
“ Thanks Sergeant,” Kipwil said. Inside she thought But how do I know those were good times? I’m such a failure. I've been folling myself that I could amount to anything.
Kipwil arrived home to find her times inscribed on her wall. On the screen were other people’s times and congratulations to Kipwil and to each other. Kipwil felt better when she saw it, she saw she did well and should be proud of her achievement and effort. After all she didn’t give up!
The second time Kipwil ran the race, she was nervous. She knew it was going to be hard and the weight of trying to beat the first set of times weighed on her. She was so focused on running she forgot to take note of the times until she saw them inscribed on the wall at her home.
“ Run 1: 4.33 mins (-0.05) run 2: 4.40mins (-0.15)
run 3: 4.47 mins (-0.11) run 4: 4.48 mins (-0.09)
run 5: 4.59 mins (+ 0.08) run 6; 4.56 mins (-0.53)
Queen Mish ‘s face flickered into life on the screen.
“ Kipwil, can you see what Seduction is doing to you? She is taking away your self belief, your strength of mind, your love of life. All she gives you back is Fear….fear of failing, fear of doing the wrong thing, fear of being caught, fear of yourself. You HAVE the power to resist her and while I know it can be hard to be positive all the time, I’m proud of you for doing it anyway. For seeing something beautiful in every moment and the bright side of everything. I can’t wait to see you at our grand finale party, and you will meet other beautiful, strong and wise men and women just like yourself.”
“ You are more than what other people think of you and you are definitely more than what you think of yourself. Now rest up and well done.” Queen Mish winked and disappeared.
Kipwil sat in thought for a long time. Queen Mish is right. I have let Fear take over again. It stops me seeing what I HAVE done and achieved and only what I haven’t. I need to take back control. I CAN do this and I WILL!
Does Kipwil wrestle control back from Fear and Seduction? How will the last two weeks go? What happens at the Finale party? Stay tuned….