Chapter 27: AWESOMENESS DAY

Kipwil woke up on Weigh In Wednesday and both Cyril De Scales and herself were pleasantly surprised to see Kipwil had lost another kilo.

“That’s six and a half kilograms you have worked away, Kipwil “ said Cyril in his faintly pompous voice. “ You should be well pleased with yourself.”

“ I am Cyril”, said Kipwil and she planted a kiss on his faintly embarrassed face.  Before he could protest about the impropriety however, there came a knock on the front door.

Kipwil hurriedly threw on her Workshop clothes and answered the door.  On the doorstep was man looking more pompous and puffed with self -importance than Cyril De Scales did, if that were possible.  He wore velvet clothes of all colours, cinched in too tightly around his waist, making him look like a beach ball tied around the middle.  You could barely see the colours for the amount of gilt and gold brocade adorning his figure.  His nose was turned up slightly as if he could smell something quite unpleasant but was too dignified to comment on it. Kipwil just knew by looking at him, that he thought in capital letters.  Before Kipwil could speak, this strange apparition inhaled.

“It Has Become Apparent That You Have Spent 6 Weeks Here In 12 WBT Land.  Today Has Been Declared A Day Of Awesomeness.  You Are To Collect Your Awesomeness In All Sizes And Meet At The City Centre Parklands To Display Them.  That Is All”  and he vanished in a puff of gold brocaded smoke.

Awesomeness ? thought Kipwil.  I guess I’ll go to the Mine of Need for that.

Kipwil first enjoyed a delicious meal from Nanny Nutrition and had her butt worked off with JFDI.  She then set off for the Mine of Need, along the river and down the hidden pathway.  Imagine her surprise when she asked for entry and was refused!!!

“You cannot mine what you already have,” the grey stone man stated in a monotone.

“ But where is it?” Kipwil asked exasperated

“ Only you will know” came the matter of fact answer, before the grey stone man settled into silence and stillness once more.

Kipwil walked slowly back along the river and sat on the bank, throwing stones and watching the ripples. Mermaid Mel popped her head up.

“Hey Kipwil, how are you? Ready for swimming lessons?” Mermaid Mel asked cheerily, swishing her tail in the water. Kipwil sighed.

” I have to find my awesomeness, big and small and present it today, but I don’t know what to look for.” Kipwil said.

“You silly” Mermaid Mel said tinkling laughter like water over pebbles.  “Why won’t you see what everyone else can?  You’ve trained yourself to be blind to anything good about yourself and only notice the bad.  Here, open your eyes wide” and with that Mermaid Mel gave a hit the water strongly with her tail, splashing Kipwil with the cool river water from head to toe.

Now whether there is something special in 12WBT river or some magic was in Mermaid Mel’s tail, but when Kipwil blinked and wiped her wet eyes, there was an extra shininess all around her.  On the ground, falling off her in slow floating circles, were petals and flowers all glowing with AWESOMENESS.  Kipwil picked one up.  It fluttered the petals over to reveal I always see the best in situations and people. Kipwil smiled and placed it in her lap.

She began catching up the flowers with the jewelled and sparkling petals, some glowing, some glistening until she had a huge bouquet of loveliness.  She found  I am a loyal friend, my children love to be with me, I will try anything once,  I am a great speller, I am a fount of trivial yet pertinent knowledge,  I have many skills which you share with others, I am persistent, I am kind hearted  and a good listener. I am creative, in music, writing, art and humour, I am great at thinking up ideas, I always try your hardest,I juggle different tasks well,I do what needs to be done. I am strong.  I am constantly improving myself, my life and the lives of my family. I have great taste in music.  I make a mean cup of tea. I am passionate and live to experience everything I can.

The last flower she picked up was the biggest.  It was the most perfumed, the centrepiece of her bouquet of Awesomeness…..it’s petals fluttered to reveal I give your all and never give up.  I may slow down, I may reconsider strategy, I may complain, I may fall behind or get knocked down but I will always stand up again and I never EVER give up.

Kipwil carried the bouquet to the City Centre Parklands and joined the other bouquets there.  The air was filled with different perfumes and Kipwil loved seeing all the different colours and mixes of the flowers.

We are all truly awesome, Kipwil thought and lay back on the grass, breathing in Awesomeness deeply.

Have you found any flowers of Awesomeness of your own? What new tricks will Kipwil get up to?  Find out more in the next chapter of Living Life with Kipwil.

Many thanks to Kath from Couragetostart for this blog challenge.

Chapter 26: Red Flags Ahead

Kipwil was walking along the path that led to the Mine of Need (chapter 23) one rainy morning.  In the corner of her eye she saw a bright Red Flag waving defiantly on top of a hill.  Curious she started walking towards it, and soon enough she could hear the sounds of a fairground.  The smell of Dagwood Dogs wafted on the air and strands of fairy floss blew here and there.  Kipwil LOVED a good Show and here was one right on her doorstep!

The colours were bright and glaring, the music was loud and blaring.  Kipwil found herself walking through pavilions of animals, crafts, farm produce and children's activities. So much to see and to do!  But, all was not fun, or free, or good for her.  She could see so many different little fairies flitting here there and everywhere.  She recognised one of them immediately....Seduction.(Chapter 19)  Seduction fluttered down to Kipwil and smiled lusciously.

"Well Hello there gorgeous.  Fancy seeing you here? Good luck finding one of your 'clean' foods here, this is MY backyard now."

Laughing nastily, Seduction and her sisters Temptation and Misrepresentation flew back to their mischief, persuading good people to go bad, just....this...once.  Kipwil shook her head and thought I will NOT give you the satisfaction!

It took some time, but Kipwil eventually found a little stall that sold cut watermelon, perfect for snacks  They also sold bottled water so Kipwil was not enticed by the sticky vibrant coloured drinks on offer.  The local Country Women's Association had good sandwiches on offer, plus a cool place to sit and eat them.  Kipwil was content. Even buying showbags for the children, with the overwhelming smell of chocolate and sugar did not sway her to indulge.  Kipwil was flexing that self discipline muscle and it felt GOOD!

At the end of the day Kipwil left the Show, leaving the jeers of Seduction behind her, and feeling good and strong.  She walked home happy and light, skipping almost and shared the day with Hubba Hubba.

" Well Babe", said Hubba Hubba,"  I've found another Red Flag over at my brother's place. He's getting married on Saturday and we're invited.  Seems that whenever this Seduction is going to try something it makes a red flag go up."

Soon enough Saturday dawned stormy in the morning.  Kipwil and Hubba Hubba and the children were staying with Hubba Hubba's parents. Kipwil could see Seduction flitting around at first but then she disappeared.I wonder where she's go to? thought Kipwil momentarily but then put her from her mind as the ceremony began.

The wedding was held alongside the river back at Nothng Ever Changes.  A beautiful venue, a smiling bride, a beaming groom (and handsome Hubba Hubba beside him), surroundeed by family and friends, Kipwil felt happy to be alive.  The reception followed soon after.  A waiter offered a small glass of champagne. Kipwil took one and held it so as to not look out of place.

" This is a celebration Kipwil.  You must have at least one drink for the happy couple" came a voice in Kipwil's ear.  Kipwil turned to see a smiling waiter, hovering with a tray of champagne glasses. True, Kipwil thought,it IS a celebration  and she smiled back at the waiter as she sipped her champagne.

The hours passed and the dinner progressed and the champagne flowed.  Kipwil danced with Hubba Hubba and the children all night, reaching for glass after glass of wine to quench her thirst, that seemed unslakeable.  Finally it was time to head back to their rooms for the night.  Kipwil felt a little heavy, and puffed, which she had not felt when she wasn't exercising before. And she was SO thirsty!

As they were leaving, a flash of movement caught Kipwil's eye. It was Seduction grinning at her.

" I knew I'd get you sooner or later" she said slyly, her face changing from fairy to the waiter's face. " And you can't have just one drink now, can you.  That's your weakness Kipwil"

Kipwil felt a ball of lead grow in the pit of her stomach.  She'd fallen into the trap and now it was up to her to get herself out of it. At the very least, thought Kipwil, I know what to watch out for now.  One glass only and if I can't trust myself, then no glasses at all!

Disheartened at her failing Kipwil sought Queen Mish's advice when she got home.

" Kipwil, don't beat yourself up about it", Queen Mish said comfortingly.  " Your will power is just like a muscle.  It needs to be worked to stay strong but if you overwork it, it will fail.  You know what to do now, so you can be aware of it in future.  Red flags are good for testing yourself out.  Do you think with a little more planning, things could have been different?"

" Maybe," said Kipwil gloomily, " I guess all there is now is to accept I did it, and to try again next time.  Thanks Queen Mish, I should go find Sergeant JFDI and start todays body pump class."

" You go girl!" Queen Mish said beaming back at her, " Don't let a hiccup slow you down.  We all have days like that, you just get up and keep going.  I am proud of you."

That brought a smile to Kipwil's face.  She waved good bye to Queen Mish as she turned the communicator off and ran off to find Sergenat JFDI.

A lesson learned through red flags!  There are more approaching, how will Kipwil plan around them?  What will happen next? Find out more in future chapters.  Happy Reading!

Chapter 25: Reflection

Kipwil was flying high on top of the world with her results.  She showed Hubba Hubba who gave her more than congratulations, and shared the news with the friends and family that have been following and supporting her.  Kipwil knew that without all of them, she couldn’t do it.

But with every height reached, there must always follow a balance.  While Kipwil was not as sad as she had been before , there was a feeling of flatness, like the colour had just drifted slightly out of the picture, leaving a shadow of what was there before. Kipwil stuck to her habits though with Nanny Nutrition’s help and Sergeant JFDI’s instruction.

One morning, Kipwil looked at herself long and hard in the mirror.  It had been a little over 4 weeks since she had discovered her new home and met Queen Mish.  Kipwil whispered to her reflection….” What WERE you like before you came here?

To her surprise, her reflection winked back at her and said, “Little Mousey who wouldn’t say Boo to something new… So you lived your life in a small circle of TV, couches, wine and food. Lots of food.  And wishing away your life.”

Kipwil blinked.  She reached out and touched the mirror and her reflection did the same.

Weird she thought.

“ Who are YOU calling weird?” the reflection grinned back.

Kipwil startled,  jumped back and watched carefully for a few seconds.

“ Well then, who am I now?” Kipwil asked

“ You are STRONG! DETERMINED! You are a FORCE to be reckoned with and you are learning and growing.  You are a REAL PERSON now!” The reflection said back enthusiastically.

Kipwil thought about those words as she went about her day.  She thought about how much she had done and wondered to herself what the hardest thing to make a habit had been.  Her eyes fell on her menu plan Nanny Nutrition left out.  That was the hardest thing, Kipwil thought, eating properly and not just whenever, wherever and whatever. But it’s a habit I’ll not let go of now, I feel so much BETTER! 

So what was the easiest thing? Kipwil thought on. Well the exercise routine would be the easiest, I love routines and planning my classes and knowing exactly where I am supposed to be at any given time suits me down to the ground.  Who knew I’d love it so much?! Kipwil chuckled to herself as she went back to the bathroom .

Looking at herself in the mirror again, Kipwil could see the changes in her body.  It has changed so much over the past 4 weeks. I have shape in my waist, I have muscles in my arms and legs, I can see my face and neck as normal and not all puffy. My skin is clearer, I am smiling more and I am standing strong and tall and straight! And that’s not all….my mindset has changed too.  I can feel the strength in my willpower, I no longer listen to my own excuses and I am thinking smarter and clearer about the choices I can make.

Later, Kipwil went for her run along the river and came to the spot she shouted out her commitment to Queen Mish and kicked Other Self off her back.  She looked at the beauty and calmness around her, put her hands on her hips and shouted.

“I NOW KNOW I AM STRONG BECAUSE I AM STILL DOING THIS! I DIDN’T GIVE UP AND I WON’T GIVE UP. “ That was the crux of it all.  Kipwil knew her mind and determination were strong, and even if her motivation wobbled a bit from time to time, she would stay the course.  She went on.

“ I AM PROUDEST OF OVERCOMING MY FEAR OF WATER EVERYTIME I GET IN THE POOL TO LEARN TO SWIM. I AM PROUD I AM LEARNING TO SWIM AND NOT BACKING OUT LIKE THE OLD ME WOULD HAVE DONE. I ROCK!!!” And with that last statement Kipwil leapt into the air punching it like a madwoman and laughing.

“In 8 more weeks you will see me toned, happy and confident, crossing the finish line and loving it.”

Kipwil turned as she finished shouting it out and ran back along the path to home.  Over the door was a name.  The home used to be called “ I’ll try” but the name had been removed and a new name painted over the top. That’s me. That’s the word that applies to me now thought Kipwil.

The word was “ YES”

Many thanks to Kath from Couragetostart for this week’s blog challenge.

Chapter 24: The one month result.

It was Mail day and Kipwil allowed Nanny Nutrition and Sergeant JFDI take care of their charges as quickly as possible.  After all, she had a busy day ahead…her workout with the Sergeant, packing for her trip to Queensland AND the children were on school holidays and had booked her in to see a movie and go for a bike ride.  There was just not another spare minute in the day.

Kipwil had not counted on Weekly Surprise uttering a little squeal of delight, dragging out an equally excitable note.

“KIPWIL!” Weekly Surprise shrieked,” It’s FITNESS TEST Time and Measurement time again!!!”

Mentally Kipwil face palmed herself. “ Already, it’s been 4 weeks?  Well I have to make time to do it today, there’s just no other spare minute” she said a little stressed and grumpy.

Weekly Surprise was a little subdued at Kipwil’s tone and deposited herself into Kipwil’s pocket as quiet as an orchestral accompaniment could be.  Kipwil grabbed the children and told them to saddle up Scooteray and Scooterbee while she got Randy.  I’ll kill two birds with one stone and bike ride to the training field she thought, looking more positive.

In no time at all, and after only 2 small stacks on Scooteray and Scooterbee, Kipwil and the children arrived at the training field.  The ride was just what Kipwil, needed….the wind in her face and the laughter of the children did more to lift her spirits than anything else could.  The children were introduced to Stopclock who delighted them by tolling his bell for them.  Weekly Surprise peeped out of Kipwil’s pocket.

“ Oh, come on Surprise, I’m sorry for being grumpy.  I just have so much to do.  But I am GLAD you are here or I wouldn’t have got out of the house at all today!” Kipwil said as she gave Weekly Surprise a little squeeze.

“ WOOHOOO!!!!” Shouted Weekly Surprise turning Cartwheels in the air. ‘” What do you want to get started with?”

“ The time trial I think, get that out of the way.” Kipwil answered.  She went over and told Stopclock through the microphone.

“ Take Your Mark” was Stopclock’s reply.

Kipwil took her mark at the starting line while the children started cheering like lunatics.  Kipwil couldn’t help but smile at their enthusiasm. The hooter sounded and off she went!

Kipwil ran as fast as she could, and soon her chest was getting tight and she was getting tired.  But she pushed on passing the markers as she went…500m to go, 450 m, 400 m and so on….until at last she threw herself over the finish line and turned to look at Stopclock.

“ 4 minutes and 52 seconds” said  Stopclock deeply, but Kipwil could hardly hear him over her children’s shouts and the laser light show coming from Weekly Surprise.  She beat her last time!!!  She was improving even though it didn’t feel like it, she was getting better!!!! Kipwil jumped up and punched the air before being knocked over by the children giving her hugs.

“ Hey, HEY!!!” she said laughing,” I have more tests to do yet!”

Kipwil completed her push up test on her toes, doing more and at a harder level than her original test.  Her sit against the wall was a longer time as well but then came the sit up test.  FAIL.  

“ Oh well, at least I know what I need to work on” Kipwil said, a little disappointed.

“ Don’t let one bad result stain your other ones” chirped Weekly Surprise, “ look at how well you have done! YOU SHOULD BE PROUD!”

“ I am proud,

Weekly Surprise” said Kipwil smiling.  “ I didn’t think I’d be able to do anywhere near as good as that. I am very happy with you” here Kipwil planted a kiss on Weekly Surprise, “ with you”, planting a smacker on a surprised Stopclock  “ and YOU!” Kipwil finished with  kissing both children.

Kipwil and the children rode home together and  as soon as she got there she took up position for her measurements.  She giggled as the tape measure flitted here there and everywhere, calling out the figures, that were being inscribed on the wall beside the Communication Screen.  The final result looked like this:

Chest                     88.5       83.8 cm

Waist                     76          72.5 cm

Hips (widest)     87.5       87.5 cm

R thigh                  44.5        47 cm

L thigh                   45           47.5 cm

Kipwil sighed with happiness to see the results coming in for her hard work over the past month.  Now she had two blog challenges to catch up on and time at the gym plus her red flag obstacle course to you all about.  Stay tuned!!!!

Chapter 23: Finding Your joy

Kipwil's favourite place was the river.  It was peaceful there, not silent, just comforting and peaceful there under the gum trees.  She loved hearing a thousand different types of birds chittering, singing, squawking their songs to each other, seeing the little rabbits early in the morning, running with their white bottoms winking away, watching the ducks glide and dive on the water.  It was....joyous, being in the midst of so much life and business but being comletely still inside.  Kipwil thought about how she had been feeling, comparing it to how she felt near the river while she talked to Queen Mish. I need to bring this joy and contentment with me everywhere I go, but I can't just pack up the river in my bag!  I need to find this joy in my life. But where?

Kipwil walked along the river's edge, enjoying the sun on her skin.  She noticed a wooden sign up ahead she'd never seen before.  The sign read in a crude black letters :

MINE AHEAD.

Curious, Kipwil wandered along the path in the direction the sign was pointing.  After going through some thick undergrowth, she came across a hole in the river bank, just her size for her to walk into comfortably.  At the entrance, there was a little man, all made of rock, sitting as still as a statue.

" Hello?" Kipwil asked tentatively.

" You have found the Mine of Need.  You may enter.  You can mine as much as you like but make sure it is what you need and take only what you need." said a rough gravelly voice slowly from the Stone Man.  Having finished this strenuous speech, he settled back into stillness.

Kipwil entered cautiously, her way being lit by glowing stones attached to the roof of the tunnel.  What do I need? thought Kipwil and then the answer struck her.....she needed nuggets of joy to hold on to when things were getting hard!  Something to remember that it wasn't always this bad, that life can be and will be and IS good.

She began hunting around, finding a little glimmer here and a nugget there.  She carefully removed these Joys and stored them in a bag she found in the tunnel.  A nugget of snuggling under a quilt while the rain beats on a tin roof, a glimmer of the scent of a campfire in the early morning.  The feel of a cuddle from her children, the elation at finishing a hard race.  The breeze as she ran along the river or sitting reading by candlelight with soft music.  Sun on her skin and the scent of jasmine in the air.  All joys.  Laughing until you are about to pass out, dancing in the night with friends without a care in the world, the scent and feel of fresh sheets on the bed, playing the violin and being swept up in the music...joy joy joy joy.  Kipwil captured these feelings, the scents, the sights, the sounds and placed them in a treasure box of her own.

The discoveries went on...walking on the beach at dusk, watching a sunset from the rocks. Having her hair brushed or watching the full moon rise or the feel of her cats lying on her lap, feeling how strong she was becoming after every workout, feeling how her muscles moved as she ran, rode, swam.....the smell of coffee on a cold morning, a cup of tea in the garden, being told she had done a good job......

Kipwil realised very few of her joys involved eating.  She also realised she had a lot more to love in her life than she thought.  She slowly left the Mine of Need, turning to say thank you to the Stone Man.

" When you need, it will be here. Take what you need when you need and only what you need." he intoned solemnly and lasped back into silence.

Kipwil smiled and walked back along the path, the weight of her joys making the day brighter and her heart lighter than she had felt for a long time.  She saw a Red Flag in the distance and knew it meant a challenge coming up but she felt ready and able to meet it.  And crush it into the ground.

What is the red flag challenge coming up for Kipwil?  Will her joys sustain her to the end?  Learn more in future episodes.
Many thanks to Kath from Courage to Start for this weeks blog challenge
http://courage2start.blogspot.com/2011/10/roudn-three-blogging-challenge-wk-3.html

Chapter 22: Pain of Change

Kipwil was not having a great week.  So many little frustrations built into big frustrations.  Big frustrations grew into a slow cold anger inside, simmering away for the next little piece of fuel to make her explode.  Disappointments were popping up all around her, disagreements between Hubba Hubba and herself were growing. Her only escape was working out but it wasn't enough to burn away that cold stone in the pit of her stomach.  She checked her Heart Rate monitor to find that even working as hard as she could in her classes at the Workshop, she was still not meeting her target burn range without needing extra time to do make up the deficit.  She was fed up with things at home, fed up with things at work and truth be told,  fed up with things in her own head mostly.

Kipwil was throwing stones into the river. Mermaid Mel had gone on a little holiday to visit her mer-kin at the beach and Kipwil felt a little lonely....but didn't really want company either.  She just felt wrong wrong wrong.

What IS wrong with me? Kipwil thought to her reflection rippling in the water. What am I doing wrong?  Why can't I stop being angry? Why do I feel like I'm failing in everything?

The ripples were disturbed by a cool breeze, whispering and caressing the top of the water and Kipwil's arms.  Kipwil's reflection shimmered and changed into the face of Queen Mish.

" Kipwil, what is going on in your head?  You are so positive and upbeat, you give things your 100% best shot, but look at you now.  Talk to me." Queen Mish said gently.

Kipwil started crying " I don't know.  It's all wrong. Everything is wrong.  I'm just so over everything.  I know it will pass because it always does but right now, it's just hard.  I moved here to change but it feels like just as I did in Nothing Ever Changes."

Queen Mish was silent for a little while. She let Kipwil finish crying and then spoke gently.
" Kipwil, you are changing.  You have been staying the course and learning so much.  Physically you are better than ever, your body is clean and strong, your mind is becoming stronger and stronger with every time you exercise that willpower muscle.  You know this.  I think your problem has more to do with things you cannot change, like the decisions others make around you.  You cannot take ownership for their decisions and if something bothers you so much about what they are doing or saying then STAND UP!  You are just as smart, just as caring, just as strong as anyone else.  If something needs doing and noone else will take the responsibility for it, YOU have the power to decide to take on the responsibility or not....WITHOUT GUILT. You hear me?"

Kipwil nodded silently.  She knew what she was being told was true. It was up to her, and she was taking on other people's problems and failings as her own.

" You can do this Kipwil, it's called growing up.  Not everyone does it successfully, and it's not easy.  You will say things that other people may not want to hear but need to.  You may hear things you don't want to hear but need to.  You can't hide away forever....you want life?  THIS IS LIFE!  The good AND the bad, the light and the shade, the celebration and frustration.  Talk to other 12WBTers, listen to what you know you should do and take the time to remember who you are.  You are KIPWIL, not just a wife, not just a mother, not just any other person.  You are YOU and there's noone else quite like it."

Kipwil sniffed.  " Thanks,"  she said quietly. 

" Anytime Kipwil," Queen Mish said, " I mean it, anytime. We all need reminding that we are not alone and that we are special.  Even me."

With that, the reflection shimmered again, and Kipwil was staring at her own face in the water. She had a lot to think about and some hard decisions to make. It was time to toughen up.